Ivy
The Common 6 Dating Red Flags to Watch Out for | Written by Coach Ivy
“This meal is unacceptable …take it back and fix it!” My friend was telling me how rude her date was to the waiter. Clearly, this man was showing her who he is. Dating can be exciting and full of hope. But sometimes it can just be confusing. It’s easy to overlook red flags. But red flags are our early warnings of a potentially painful future. I like to remind my clients to listen to their inner voice. Building relationships should start with discernment and faith. Not just feelings. Our relationships are important to God. We should expect the people in our lives to support us. Recognizing red flags protects our growth and honors God. While spending time getting to know someone, it’s important to ask ourselves. “Is this the type of person I would want a loved one to date?” Here are 5 very important red flags to look out for.
- Poor Communication
Inconsistency is an early sign to notice. They may say all the right things, but their actions say otherwise. Or perhaps it’s several promises never kept. Or maybe you notice they’re uncomfortable with honesty. They may rarely follow through on promises. Or talk a great game about the future, but never commit. This creates emotional turmoil and unnecessary confusion. Great relationships are reliable and peaceful. Words and actions should consistently align. These will allow trust to blossom effortlessly. Inconsistency leaves you on edge. In the book of Matthew 5: 37 scripture teaches us that our words matter. “37 But let [a]your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” Consistent honesty is proof of emotional maturity and respect. It is good to always notice patterns, not promises.
- Disrespecting Your Boundaries
Boundaries should never be barriers. They are guardrails that protect spiritual, physical, and emotional health. Notice if someone dismisses or pressures you to move into discomfort. Your values are meant to be respected, not compromised. Relationships should be respectful of each other’s morals. Challenged boundaries may be a sign of control issues. As a Coach, I remind clients to expect their values to be honored. Caring for our own limits starts with boundary commitments. This is all about self-preservation and wisdom. Voicing your requests repeatedly proves a lack of respect. This is also true if they mock or minimize your values. Gaslighting is another cruel form of manipulation. This keeps you in a constant state of questioning your judgment.
- Never Accountable
Refusing to take responsibility for their actions. This is immaturity in its highest form. They’re always at the ready to find someone else to blame. In their minds, apologizing is a sign of weakness. You might hear statements like: “You always blow things out of proportion.” Or “You always blame me.” Issues are never resolved, and trust dwindles. Humility and emotional intelligence strengthen relationships. Look for people who are quick to take accountability and apologize. Scripture encourages us to exercise self-awareness. “Pride leads to conflict; those who take advice are wise.” Proverbs 13: 10 Pride shows up as arrogant and self-centered. This self-absorbed personality is quick to blame others. They are being fake by constantly covering up their faults. A person who is never accountable sees others as inferior. It’s an inflated Sense of superiority. Ultimately, these people are insensitive bores.
- Negativity
Negative people will slowly erode your joy. The way they speak about others shows where their heart really is. Diminishing your accomplishments erodes confidence. Remember that even in humor, there is an element of truth. The emotional drain is not worth it, and only gets worse. These people leave us feeling insecure about our competence. A healthy person will affirm your strengths and support you. Loving partners gladly celebrate our accomplishments. Watch for harsh judgments or gossip. These are telltale red flags of deeper attitudes and issues. Look for encouraging, peaceful people. This is a person who will complement you and make you feel happy in their presence. They are quick to notice what you get right. They find joy in bragging about you to others. And they make life easier for you.
- Love Bombing
Rushing you towards intimacy is another red flag. They quickly talk about marriage and lifelong plans. Overwhelming you with compliments and affection. True intimacy develops over time. This requires patience, observation, and communication. Studying scripture protects us from unnecessary pain. The book of Proverbs 21:5 explains that “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” Understanding a person’s values and intentions takes time. Never allow someone to rush you into something you don’t want to do. A healthy relationship flows naturally. It’s a wonderful time to get to know each other. Don’t let the excitement of the moment derail you. You are worth giving yourself the time to observe this person. The best way to do this is to notice how they respond to a frustrating situation. This is really the best time to see what they’re made of.
Healthy Relationships
Healthy relationships are built over time. Take time to notice their responses during the best and worst situations. Never compromise your peace. Relationships thrive on respect, patience, and love. It is emotionally taxing to tolerate anything less. It is futile to ignore warning signs and red flags. Things will only get worse. It is wise to listen to our discernment. Protecting our hearts and emotions must come first. The top five qualities of a healthy relationship include: love, admiration, respect, and emotional intelligence. Never be quick to sacrifice your morals. As a Coach, I always encourage my clients to invite God into all their relationships. Look for a partner who will validate and uplift you.
Final Words of Encouragement
Dating someone new can be exciting and fill us with hope. It is always good to have a Coach or mentor. Inviting others’ feedback can be an invaluable tool. Never overlook what they perceive as nonsense. If you recognize a red flag, don’t lose hope. Pray and consider an honest evaluation. You should never sacrifice your morals or peace. God’s timing is always best. Prayerfully ask him to align you with a worthy partner. Look for a healthy, respectful, and patient prospect. Consider it a healthy foundation filled with connection, peace, and purpose.
Are you ready to move forward? Visit our site, Weteachbi.com, for our helpful eBooks and upcoming workshops.
March 26th or 27th, we have an exciting Workshop for Businesses. In it, we will cover free AI tools, social media trends, and attracting clients. Tap the link below for more information.
On May 14th or 15th, we will have a Women’s Workshop. This will be filled with helpful tips on relationships. Tap the link below for more information.
